


Even when we're hurting I still want you

by JadeEmerald



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:33:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeEmerald/pseuds/JadeEmerald
Summary: Michael stops by Alex's cabin to talk and Alex has a choice to make.





	Even when we're hurting I still want you

**Author's Note:**

> I got the title from lyrics of a song called Just A Little Longer by SHY Martin

Alex sat back on his couch and rubbed his right leg he decided to leave his prosthetic off for now so his leg didn't get irritated. There was a knock at the door. Alex sighed. He hadn't expected company and he had already got himself comfortable enough he hadn't wanted to get up again yet so he called out for whoever it was to just come in. Turns out whoever it was was Michael. He walked to a nearby chair and sat heavily looking at Alex without saying anything and Alex looked back waiting for an explanation.

"Did you come over to have a staring contest or is there something you need Guerin?"

" I love you."

Alex felt like all the air had just been forced out of him from that. He sat back a little further and Michael continued talking.

"We've never said it you know. You said you loved me when we were younger but 'I loved you' and 'I love you' aren't really the same thing are they?"

Alex started feeling uneasy and tried to resist the urge to fidget some. This wasn't a normal conversation not for him and Michael at least.

"Are you feeling alright Guerin? What is bringing this all on?"

Michael sighed. 

"I just don't want anything to go unsaid between us. I did love you when we were younger. I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you always Alex. But I can't play these games anymore. You push me away and pull me back all the time like I'm some kind of fucking yo-yo you can toy with whenever you feel like it and I'm tired of it."

Alex opened his mouth but Michael held his hand up.

"Let me finish. I want to be with you. But I want to really be with you. No hiding or lying about it. No letting your piece of shit father get in your head. You and me, that's all I'm asking. And I know as simple as it sounds that's still a lot to ask but that's why it's worth it. Things will always be difficult. Life isn't meant to be easy. If love was simple it wouldn't be worth fighting for. I'm here fighting for us Alex but I can't be the only one fighting anymore."

Michael stood and walked towards the door.

"I'll let you figure things out, I'd really like to hear from you tomorrow. I mean it when I say I'm done. If you don't feel ready to go all into this I'll understand, just please let me be able to move on. If it's over this time I need it to be really over."

Michael left and Alex finally felt like he could breathe again. Everything Michael said had hit Alex like a ton of bricks. He understood Michael's frustration, Alex was frustrated himself frustrated because for the most part Michael was right. Alex wanted Michael so badly but anytime they tried to make it work Alex walked away because he was scared. Scared of what people would think. Scared of his father. Scared of how deeply his feelings for Michael really ran. And every time Michael was still there, still accepted his apologies. Still accepted Alex. Alex placed his head in his hands when the realization hit that this was it. Michael wouldn't be there anymore. If he walked away from this one more time he couldn't go back to it. Maybe that was really for the best, but for who? All the people Alex kept letting think for him? No. Michael was right. Real love is supposed to be hard, it's supposed to hurt, and Alex knew what he needed to do.

Michael checked the time and wondered who in their right mind would be knocking at his door at two in the morning. His frustration quickly changed to confusion when he opened the door to see Alex standing there and he let him in and closed the door and looked at him.

"I didn't need anymore time to think. You were right, we need to fight for this. I want to give my all to try to make us work Guerin. I don't care that it won't be easy. I don't want it to be easy. I just want you. I love you."

Michael wrapped his arms around Alex and they shared a deep kiss filled with promises Michael knew were going to be kept this time. Michael pulled away with a wide grin and let out a breathy laugh.

"It's about time."


End file.
